ihatealana: (Default)
I bought this:

The tiny, nagging feeling that someone else was going to buy it and it would disappear forever has ceased and now I'm considering framing options. I love Sammy Harkham and Poor Sailor is one of my favourite books of all time. I'm excited for it to come in the mail!

So it's decided that I'm definitely not going to TCAF now. But I figure there will be more than enough going on in Montreal this summer, and having a real drawing by Sammy more than makes up for it. I'm still considering buying one of Emily's Karls that are at the gallery still too...

(Alex don't kill me, I factored it into my budget last night, it's ok!)
ihatealana: (Default)
This is what Killoffer says. He says We all need to believe it. We have to be able to say that life, here or elsewhere, doesn't taste the same, and it's even better somewhere else, that we know how to get there and we're headed there now, that it's intense, inside and out... that our life's hurtling ahead, at a hundred miles an hour, and it's not just some old habit we spend our whole lives losing.

It's a really beautiful book. Full of folded cloth and hairy legs, blood and dirty sinks.
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Out of the entire year, my favourite day of ever visiting him was one where we probably slept in and then played nintendo all day and then we were about to go to his parents' house for his sister's birthday, and then we were sitting in his room with Michael and then I was drawing her a birthday portrait and he was drawing her vampire wrapping paper. Then we went and he probably did laundry and his mom made an amazing cake and it was just a really good day. A lot of really good days.
Memories of stupid little things are making it ridiculously hard to let go. I guess I'm not trying very hard. Maybe I'm just not supposed to be firm in any of my decisions at age 22.
Maybe bad nutrition is making me crazy.

I feel like half a person and I'm tired all the time. Maybe I'm just making up problems to be tired about. Everything is fine, really! Great grand lease signed moving packing working working working funning what's wrong with me?
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montreal made me like toronto more. we went to drawn and quarterly and it was cute and had bart beaty's translation of thierry groensteen's systeme de la bande dessinee (!!!), but it wasn't nearly as amazing and cramped and wonderful as the beguiling. is basing the city you want to live in on a book store crazy? uoft has a library and archive master's program anyway.

i'm giving myself a month.

in the meantime: saving, hibernating, working, adventuring.
ihatealana: (Default)
when i grow up i want to be a sailor.
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My grandpa's on the internet, nearly a year after his death: !

i miss him.
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i wish:

- i had spent more time on my print exchange submissions
- i could spend the summer with my boyfriend, walking to Hartman's to buy boxes of creamsicles followed by multiple creamsicle kisses
- i could find a decent job in Ottawa so that this would actually be a viable option
- everyone i liked would move to Ottawa and live within walking distance
- i had a motherfucking dog, i want one so bad
- someone would recommend me good music to listen to every day, i am bored of my entire itunes library
- i had more money for comics
- the library carried more comics
- mcgill would just send me a letter, yes or no, i don't care, i just need to know!
- i didn't worry so much
- (hairspray gives you brain tumours. shit.)

I have been home for three days.

stolen )
ihatealana: (Default)
1. i am socially disabled.
2. done school, minus the stuff for the print exchange.
3. now looking forward to a summer filled with work and maybe some fun. i miss fun. i miss backyards and barbeques.
4. tomorrow is my birthday.
5. i got a new laptop.
6. it can't do anything because the wireless whatever internet isn't hooked up. besides chess.
7. on wednesday i leave for ottawa.
8. i feel like shit today even though i had a good day filled with basically successful "critiques" (talking tos? goodbye conversations?)

Kelli B says:
21 is gone! forever!
Jordan says:
yeah good riddance
Jordan says:
it was kind of an awkward one anyway

jordan is always right even when he doesn't know what he's talking about!
ihatealana: (Default)

oh sammy harkham <3
ihatealana: (Default)
i don't know how to explain to anyone how insanely right it feels to be over there and how intensely wrong it feels to be back here. i haaaaaate it here. hate it. even with all the nice people and free food and free (not crazy) cats and big house and free transportation and free pvr. i don't know why i want to put myself into situations of no-money, no-friends, no-free-stuff so badly. BUT I DO!

my body is physically rejecting being back here with headaches and stomach aches and no i don't want to do any work aches.



i love annie dillard now. and i want to write a book about highway signs.

on thursday art spiegelman is coming and i forgot to buy tickets i hope there is still some!
ihatealana: (Default)
Read more... )

three weeks! that is all that is left of my undergrad and the only year i will ever have to be 21.

i actually want to stay home on my birthday and read david shrigley books. (p.s. i want david shrigley books for my birthday. or cake.)
ihatealana: (Default)
lately i have been feeling like a huge old man.

proof )

i am so fucking bored i don't want to stay in aurora tonight. NOBODY IS HERE! NOT EVEN MY PARENTS! THEY ARE IN TAHITI!

edit: accomplishing homeworks and job applications= an old-man-type friday well spent?

i am fucking boring. i want to be a librarian.
ihatealana: (Default)
i am getting new glasses.

here are the two choices so far.

i am going for the old-cat-lady-with-messy-hair-maybe-also-works-part-time-at-a-library look.

Read more... )

i wonder if last march is filled with as many procrastination posts as this one is going to be?
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It turns out he replied a while ago, but it got caught in my spam filter. urrrg, ocad e-mail! i never check it so it was a lucky guess. i also found e-mails from people a while back that i never ever received...


here's the interview and questions for anyone (chris hubbarde, maybe!) interested.

andersnilsen )

I think my thesis is done. I think. Now I have to somehow illustrate the entire 30some pages. fucking what the fuck I am so dumb for proposing to do that...

Essay on gas tomorrow, Monday class + start the production of thesis books, Tuesday is cleaning day, Wednesday is Alex, followed by a weekend of sleep and relaxing. And then. shit. The rest of March scares me.
ihatealana: (Default)
oh well. those pictures you sent make me really miss you.
ihatealana: (Default)
Today I decided last minute to definitely apply for the Library and Information Studies program at McGill. I'm not expecting to get accepted, if I do I'll probably defer the acceptance to 2009, it just felt really weird not applying for anything in September. I need to have goals, or else I feel anxious. One person has already promised me a reference letter. woo!

You can tell how insanely much I'm procrastinating this week by the number of times I've updated livejournal.

I get stressed out way too easily. It's just an undergrad thesis, relax!

anders nilsen please e-mail me back you are now a large discussion in the last chapttteeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr...

ihatealana: (Default)
way to overreact, kelli babcock!

it's a cyst. or injury. he didn't really explain what it is, just that she's not going to die. and then he cut her nails for free! my vet is the best(cutest).

i feel better.
ihatealana: (Default)
yesterday night Kris made me aware of a tiny bump/abcess?/cancerthing behind my bunny's nose :(

i proceeded to freak out and look up on google what it might be, and mostly i am pretty sure it is this.

i'm worried! going to the vet at three, hopefully they are like "it's just a wart because she's getting old and it's fine it'll go away your bunny is going to live forever don't worry".


while going nuts and waiting for it to be three, i let her run around the whole of downstairs while i half-watched the end of FUR and had a mental breakdown when Diane Arbus gives her kid a white bunny before leaving for the nudist colony.

bunnyyyyyyyyy.... be ok.
ihatealana: (Default)
Read more... )

i wrote a little bit of my thesis today. i think it will be ok. i will work on it a lot tomorrow. probably.
ihatealana: (Default)
a post from alexès bed because heès at work and ièm bored. i always forget that the little apostrophe button does this instead: è

i canèt sleep because theyre building apartments across the street.

today i found a librarian ma program at mcgill. by some kind of luck the deadline isnèt until april 1st, giving me time to actually create some kind of application and find teachers to write reference letters.

i dont think i want to work in publishing anymore. i want to work at drawn and quarterly. and not have to move to bc, its fucking far. montreal is exactly far enough.

i would like to be a librarian.

itès entirely possible for me to spend an entire day thinking about next september. im crazy.

yesterday was my favourite valentineès day ever.

the end. im hungry.
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